for the sake of the commoners please stop your thought provoking conversation
Setting: Coffee House
Time: Mid-Afternoon (perfect time to pick up a reduced fat Splenda scone and half-caff-mocha-latte, which is also made with Splenda)
Premise: Two collegiate Uni-brow wearing laptop carrying geeks who read too much poetry because they think that reading between the lines is some sort of art form talk about religion.
This stupid situation is virtually everywhere. You may need to replace the topic of religion with either "politics" "literature" and of course, as we all know my least favorite "art" ...more importantly my LEAST LEAST favorite, film. Anyways there are at least two people and always at least one person who has no clue what the fuck they are talking about. If there are more than two people this ratio increases, always in favor of the imbecile. There is one person sitting there thinking the same exact thing that I am thinking which is either "please stop talking and playing with your post-high school graduate new found collegiate I am insightful beard." OR " Are you going to finish that ½ reduced fat crumble cake with fat free sugar free carob sprinkles?"
My point is that when people discuss these "cultural" and "worldly" and "historic" topics that have shaped the world and the human race it is more irritating than having to have to live the rest of your life with one hand tied behind your back, or maybe just as annoying as living the rest of your life with a really bad taste in your mouth, the taste being the taste you have right after you finish eating a combination of bologna, really garlicky garlic bread and grass. There is no point to having this conversation. If you are stuck listening to this drivel you might hear something like this;
"I think that Christians today are focusing more on traditional form of religion and bridging new found traditions and values marked by the community and government to build a new found wave of post-modern western non-biased continuity within the church."
"I feel that the contrast between gray and white is the directors focus throughout the entire film. It is obvious that the angle of the camera coincides with the actors pain and anguish, we are to feel gray and white, just as he is to feel crooked and watched. He is in pain because we are holding on to every word he produces from his enlarged mouth that is projected onto a screen. It is a very powerful and controversial film that imitates film imitating life imitating reality, and the most amazing thing about the film is that the reality at that moment is the viewer existing through film. Even though you are not "in" the movie, you "are" the movie.
"The problem with the war today is that to actually beat "the war on terror" there had to be an actual war. Before we invaded Iraq there were people and terrorists that were real but there was no way to conquer that, no place to actually go and make them stop being terrorist" (this was actually said to me)
Facts about this post:
1. I was very hungry when I wrote it so I just stopped in the middle of it to go get some food.
2. One of my little made up rules I have for myself when I write is "to make things more interesting put 1/4 of all words in "quotes"
Sorry to cut the facts short, I have to go shave my boyfriends neck.
Time: Mid-Afternoon (perfect time to pick up a reduced fat Splenda scone and half-caff-mocha-latte, which is also made with Splenda)
Premise: Two collegiate Uni-brow wearing laptop carrying geeks who read too much poetry because they think that reading between the lines is some sort of art form talk about religion.
This stupid situation is virtually everywhere. You may need to replace the topic of religion with either "politics" "literature" and of course, as we all know my least favorite "art" ...more importantly my LEAST LEAST favorite, film. Anyways there are at least two people and always at least one person who has no clue what the fuck they are talking about. If there are more than two people this ratio increases, always in favor of the imbecile. There is one person sitting there thinking the same exact thing that I am thinking which is either "please stop talking and playing with your post-high school graduate new found collegiate I am insightful beard." OR " Are you going to finish that ½ reduced fat crumble cake with fat free sugar free carob sprinkles?"
My point is that when people discuss these "cultural" and "worldly" and "historic" topics that have shaped the world and the human race it is more irritating than having to have to live the rest of your life with one hand tied behind your back, or maybe just as annoying as living the rest of your life with a really bad taste in your mouth, the taste being the taste you have right after you finish eating a combination of bologna, really garlicky garlic bread and grass. There is no point to having this conversation. If you are stuck listening to this drivel you might hear something like this;
"I think that Christians today are focusing more on traditional form of religion and bridging new found traditions and values marked by the community and government to build a new found wave of post-modern western non-biased continuity within the church."
"I feel that the contrast between gray and white is the directors focus throughout the entire film. It is obvious that the angle of the camera coincides with the actors pain and anguish, we are to feel gray and white, just as he is to feel crooked and watched. He is in pain because we are holding on to every word he produces from his enlarged mouth that is projected onto a screen. It is a very powerful and controversial film that imitates film imitating life imitating reality, and the most amazing thing about the film is that the reality at that moment is the viewer existing through film. Even though you are not "in" the movie, you "are" the movie.
"The problem with the war today is that to actually beat "the war on terror" there had to be an actual war. Before we invaded Iraq there were people and terrorists that were real but there was no way to conquer that, no place to actually go and make them stop being terrorist" (this was actually said to me)
Facts about this post:
1. I was very hungry when I wrote it so I just stopped in the middle of it to go get some food.
2. One of my little made up rules I have for myself when I write is "to make things more interesting put 1/4 of all words in "quotes"
Sorry to cut the facts short, I have to go shave my boyfriends neck.
posted by Fred Jones at 10:41 PM
1 Comments:
I majored in "Cultural Studies & Comparative Literature" in college, or more succinctly, "Bullshit". So I probably hate those kinds of conversations even more than you do.
By the way, here's how a conversation about your blog entry would sound in a Cultural Studies class:
"In shaving her boyfriend's neck, Megan is caught in the penultimate post-modern* feminist struggle. On one hand, she is being subservient to her boyfriend's hygienic needs, yet revisionist** feminists could argue that she indeed holds all the power - facial hair being an inherantly masculine trait, she is effectively the Delilah to his Samson, using the phallic*** razor against him to subvert**** the hierarchy."
* - a bullshit term that is meaningless but must be used in intellectual conversation if you want to sound smart.
** - coffee shop retards love to use this term to make it sound like their bullshit ideas are part of a new, brilliant theory
*** - In Cultural Studies, you will learn that everything is a phallic symbol, because subconsciously everything we do is because of one's wiener.
**** - If I hear one more person say "subversive", I'm going to start punching everyone I see who has a soul patch.
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