Normfolk Awards
People deserve to be awarded for their accomplishments....We all see movie stars get all glammed up for the emmys, the oscars the peoples choice awards, the teen choice awards, the tv guide awards....my god..and on top of that there are serioulsy about 12,000 other award shows for the movie/tv industry that aren't even televised. WTF, no wait, who cares. My point is that we should have a normal people awards show. Why shouldn't us plain folk get some recognation once in a while? These are the categories I would like to include at my "Normfolk Awards"
-Best use of spare time
-Best use of negativity and criticism
-Best "special talent" kind of like stupid pet tricks but for humans like when Molly Ringwald but lipstick on using her cleavage
-Most random job category...see if you can outbeat the normfolk by the odd jobs you have carried throughout your post-college career. Quantity counts.
-Furthest from the degree...I want to know who had the most random degree and what they actually ended up doing...I want to see an anthropology major who ended up being a bee keeper...I want to see a pre-vet student who didn't make it and ended up working security at a museum.
-Best use of rationalization...I want to hear the person who doesn't use excuses, but takes it a step further and convinces themselves as well as everyone around them that what they are doing is the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it. If you can convince yourself and your friends that it is a wise idea to get a car title loan so you can invest in a metal detector and work the shores for a year before you get a real job in the real world more power to you...but I know people can do better than that.
-Best use of "This one time back in college we were so wasted and...." stories. If there is ever a situation where this was useful I believe you deserve an award
-Best lie told to a lawful authority to get out of a ticket or felony of some sort.
-I want to know someone who made the most of the cash in their pocket, it must be a limited amount of money and who did the most with it....that takes a creative person.
There should be more....Please donate a category to the Normfolk fund
-Best use of spare time
-Best use of negativity and criticism
-Best "special talent" kind of like stupid pet tricks but for humans like when Molly Ringwald but lipstick on using her cleavage
-Most random job category...see if you can outbeat the normfolk by the odd jobs you have carried throughout your post-college career. Quantity counts.
-Furthest from the degree...I want to know who had the most random degree and what they actually ended up doing...I want to see an anthropology major who ended up being a bee keeper...I want to see a pre-vet student who didn't make it and ended up working security at a museum.
-Best use of rationalization...I want to hear the person who doesn't use excuses, but takes it a step further and convinces themselves as well as everyone around them that what they are doing is the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it. If you can convince yourself and your friends that it is a wise idea to get a car title loan so you can invest in a metal detector and work the shores for a year before you get a real job in the real world more power to you...but I know people can do better than that.
-Best use of "This one time back in college we were so wasted and...." stories. If there is ever a situation where this was useful I believe you deserve an award
-Best lie told to a lawful authority to get out of a ticket or felony of some sort.
-I want to know someone who made the most of the cash in their pocket, it must be a limited amount of money and who did the most with it....that takes a creative person.
There should be more....Please donate a category to the Normfolk fund
posted by Fred Jones at 11:35 AM
1 Comments:
I'd award you "Best Use of Blog Space". Did you major in creative writing? Your blog keeps me entertained. And keeping me entertained is tough.
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